Oh, Pinterest, how I love you.
And yet sometimes those enticing, pretty pictures you share are just lies and I realize you’re a manipulator.
Case in point: The Pinterest Gingerbread Fail.
I scrolled to a charming picture of a gingerbread man garland; tasty little people-shaped cookies strung together with plaid Christmas ribbon, draped in front of a kitchen shelf. I was captivated with the adorableness of the garland and knew I had to make my own!
So I tried. And I thought I was doing well.
The gingerbread men were baked. The slits for the ribbon were cut. The ribbon was selected and at the ready. I wondered if the placement of the ribbon would make the men top-heavy but that didn’t seem to be the case when I held them to practice and the placement seemed to be the same as those in the picture. I gave them an extra two days after baking to dry in the air. I strung the ribbon through the little holes. A friend said, “Oh, cute!”.
I was excited!
My son, Zach, helped me lift the garland of spicy cookies up to the mantle to add to the festive decor already in the room.
The gingerbread men wobbled. We tried to gently coax them upright but they wouldn’t have it. Some aggressively fell forward and hung facing the ground. Others flipped all the way around, hanging upside down, facing the mantel, and a couple combative little buggers pushed toward the ground, the ribbon almost breaking through their cookie backs. To be totally honest, my oven hadn’t been working well (service tech scheduled) because I don’t think they were baked all the way through even after extra time, so that added to the gingerbread men’s weight and ultimate demise.
Failure.Total Pinterest Gingerbread Failure.
Oh, Pinterest. I took the possibility of the original Pin hook, line, and sinker. I thought surely I could recreate it, despite the fact that the directions for execution were not included with the image. Regardless, what was I to do with those dang gingerbread men now?
They’d still be cute as some type of decoration. I mean, they couldn’t be eaten–they’d been handled a little too much. The ribbon was cut, re-strung through the holes in the gingerbread men the opposite direction, and bows tied on their fronts.
Now I knew they’d been handled too much to eat. I arranged them in a glass canister, tied a ribbon around the lid, and called it good.
They were cute. I liked them.
Then my brother came over and asked, “Are these just decoration or are they for eating?” I told him the cookies had been handled too much to eat. He opened the jar, reached in to get a gingerbread man, and ate all around the ribbon, leaving a torso with a bow for me to toss.
Our friend Eddie came over and asked, “Are these for eating?”
“No. They’ve been handled a lot. I don’t think they’re any good.”
He too opened the lid, reached in and ate the legs, arms and head of a gingerbread man. This time I salvaged the ribbon before tossing the gingerbread torso.
I went to book club. When I got back, another gingerbread man was gone. Lesson? Don’t put cookies that shouldn’t necessarily be eaten in a place where cookies are typically stored. It makes no sense.
Lessons learned? Yes, a few. Failure? I can’t quite decide.